The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
