Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
