watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize