Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
God I need to hump something, right now.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
