Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
