I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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