apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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