1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
