did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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