mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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