I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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