He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
