Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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