i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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