Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
