in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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