i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
how drunk are you?
Several
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
