I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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