its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
