textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
