Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I just found a bag of teeth...
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
my poor anus
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
