he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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