Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
