I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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