fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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