Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
