I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
