My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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