Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
