you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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