is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
