Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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