Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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