I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
