Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
