gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
