he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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