$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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