so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
we're so committed to being not committed
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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