The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
