It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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