i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
