How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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