and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
