they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
how does that bad decision feel?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
