Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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