peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
