i already hear my dad disowning me
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
only you would photoshop your dick
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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