jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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