if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I think we might need a safe word for this...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
