She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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