Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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