What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
