i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i came on her dog
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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