You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
