Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
