garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
