This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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